The next step

Today the doctors informed me that they are going to trach Neal. It may happen tomorrow, but we are not sure. After talking to some people and looking at the pros and cons, it is the best option. He will be more comfortable and will be able to talk and move around more. They are concerned that if they try to pull the ventilator again, they may not be able to get it back in if needs it, then we would be in an emergency situation. I had to sign off of on the procedure which was more than I thought. I talked to Denise and other nurses that I have made friends with along with the doctors and it seems as though there really is no decision. I explained everything to Neal this morning and he nodded yes. I am unsure if he really heard me, but I think he did. If Neal was able to comprehend everything I really do feel like it would be a no brainer for him too, but it is much more stress on me having to make that choice. The trach will be much safer once it is completed and he can get out of ICU. The longer he is in the hospital, the more risk he has of infection and given our transplant timeline, we do not want infection. So Neal as you read this weeks down the road, I hope you agree with my decision and you are in a much better place.

At the evening visit, Neal was pretty agitated. I cannot exactly tell what was going through his head, but I knew he was agitated. His blood pressure is fine, but his heart rate was pretty high. I worry about the stress that is being put on his heart, but it is hard to juggle the blood pressure and the heart. When I left the nurse had given him quite a bit of anxiety and pain medicine to calm him down. He is running a fever again, but that has been on and off for days. The doctors tried to remove his neck collar, but had no luck. In order to remove it he has to be responsive and he was not at all. Again, I wish I knew what he was thinking. Hopefully the trach will allow him to communicate easier. I plan to head up there early tomorrow with hopes that he is getting the trach.

On another note, and I know Neal is going to hate this, but the nurse that helped us in the ER the day of Neal's "accident" lives in our neighborhood. I saw a lady in scrubs walking down the street so I decided to literally chase her down (Ryan I did not take my maglight). Turns out it was the wrong nurse, but now I have a nurse resource close by. She did walk me over to the ladies house I was looking for and we had a chance to chat. Everyone seems confused by the compazine. She suggested I call the ER and ask the question. I will try that tomorrow, but who knows if I will get a response. Yes I am a little bit crazy, yet still on earth enough to admit it. I also got Neal's current med list with hopes to send it on to some friends for review. I no longer trust anyone.

I am not sure who is still reading. I am trying to document things well so Neal will be able to read when he comes home. Thank you to those that are helping with the visits, I really appreciate it. I have been able to work 10:30-4:00 because of you. I will let everyone else know when it is time for full on visitors. Unfortunately now, Neal just gets frustrated since he cannot communicate.